The Rampage Continues

After the fiasco on the 23rd, (I didn't think it was that big of a deal) WOS calls me tonight and just blows his stack. He wasn't there on the 23rd, he called me on the 24th around 4 and said he'd call me back in half an hour...you guessed it, I never heard from him so I went to SIL's house again. He called me on Christmas at 9:30am and I called back arond 3:30pm to let him know when we would be home and that I would make whatever arrangements so that my daughter could give him his present. Never heard back. Tonight at 5:00 he calls me ranting about the 23rd. I guess he went to the court house today and I have no idea what he did there but he informed me that tomorrow he was going to see my lawyer because he was sick of dealing with me. Good Luck...both getting in to see her because she is so busy and with her because she has it in for you buddy. She was recommended to be by members of the police department as well as an Assistant District Attorney. Throughout our whole conversation he kept telling me how I wasn't going to get what I wanted and how he was going for 50/50 and all the next holidays because he missed Father's Day ( I called him after my open house and he had a pity party and didn't want any help), the 23rd (he never called me or I would have let him know that I got plowed out), the 24th (he never called me back) and Christmas (he never returned my call.) He keeps throwing "Contempt of Court" in my face since he hasn't seen her every night for 2 hours like it says in our papers and how I broke all my wedding vows because I gave up on him. I guess he has not tried to see things from my perspective at all. After looking through my papers I am glad I hired a GREAT attorney. I had said that I would allow for WOS to see his daughter every night but after reading this it says "a minimum of 3 nights". Well guess what? I am busy the next 2. On another positive note...I think they may have garnished his paycheck because he made some snide comment about it. And I think financing is coming together for my other headache (client). The end of 2007 and start of 2008 are looking better and better.

Let His Pity Party Continue

My in-laws were planning to do X-mas on the 23rd. That was the only day that everyone was able to make it. Since this is Iowa and winter, the great storm rolled through and Mom and Dad in-law got stuck up north. Since all the kids were here in town we decided to go ahead and do the kids presents. I got stuck 2 times in the driveway and had to shovel myself out so I finally gave up and said that I wouldn't be able to make it. WOS called his sister to see what the plan was. (Didn't bother to call me.) She informed him that I was snowed in and wouldn't be attending. 20 minutes later the plow company came and dug us out. The kid and I headed out to my SIL's house.Due to deteriorating road conditions and white outs in places we stayed long enough to do presents and then headed back in. WOS called to see what we were up to and I informed him we were headed home from SIL. His response: "That's nice! Had I know I would have gone but SIL said that you were snowed in. That's another X-mas I 've missed." Give me a break! He also said that he just got dug out too because he was snowed in. So which was it? Were you not able to go cuz you were snowed in or did you choose not to go because we weren't there? Two stories...the story of his life.

Enough

There are certain days when I just can't take it anymore. While I was at the grocery store WOS called and said he was eating with a friend and was wondering if they could stop by. After expressing my feelings of being over whelmed with a dirty house, a sick little girl not to mention that we were getting home about 2 hours late, having to carry in 15 bags and get dinner ready, he said take my time and he'd call back. When he finally called he was 4 blocks away. I had a screaming. crying sick little girl, the dog I was about to murder, I was trying to get dinner on the stove, the office was calling and I was trying to clear a walk way in the midst of my bags. I told him that he needed to think of his daughter and if he was only going to be here for 10 minutes then forget it. He said he had thought of that and asked if his long time friend could come up because she had never met his daughter. My daughter is 2 1/2! Can you not hear me when I tell you That I can't play hostess right now. I am embarassed by my dirty place and have 8 other things going on. Right now is NOT a good time. Call back around NEVER! He then asked if they could come up for half an hour. I told him to do what he wanted but I was tired of doing this by myself. I am tired of being alone and I want and NEED some help. He said they would just do it another time. By 7:00 everything was back to normal and now would be a good time since I have the chaos somewhat in order. Of course I haven't heard from him, but a little more than 10 minutes notice is appreciated.

The broker of the real estate firm I work for keeps calling. I am an INDEPENDENT contractor. That means I am self employed. I am not going to go into the office and walk all the way up front just so you can see my face. I don't want a babysitter when I am in charge of my own business. I have consistently done $1 million a year so I think I am going to pull my desk and tell him I am going to work from home or I will take my realestate license to another company.


Tequilla..or rum or vodka or wine...Take me away!

Spies Are Amoung Us.

So Waste of Space (the ex) was just here visiting his daughter. He made a comment about my company X-mas party and asked if I was taking RG again. I informed him that it had been on Dec 6 and that I had indeed taken RG as my guest. He went on to make small comments and eventually fessed that he knew RG had come home with me and that he had stayed for some substanial amount of time. He asked what my intentions were as far as the divorce and I said that I wanted to mediate it so that we could get it over with before our court date of JULY 30 (such BS) so that I could get on with my life. Mentally and emotionally (and thanks to RG physically) over him. He screwed me last January for the last time. He begged and pleaded and told me that he still loved me and that he would never find anyone else like me, (which I assured him that he was correct.)He said that he didn't care what it would cost him but he was going to be selfish and fight me on the divorce. I wonder if he knew what really happened with RG if he would fight me....

Boundaries

How do you sET boundaries for Friends with Benefits? I am struggling with this because:
1. I have a very strong sexual appetite. (You would to if you hadn't had it in almost a year.)
2. I don't want to come across as stalkerish or make it seem like I am interested in relationship and freak out RG.

While I like the idea of a relationship, I know that most people aren't going to persue anything until after my divorce is really final. I also know that I can't have the same dating scenarios I did in my younger, before kid days. I need to figure out how to date while having my daughter because that definately changes things.

Cosmo had an article this month about FWB and I didn't really find out anything except that you really need to have "the talk." I guess if you are good enough friends to have sex then you should probably also be good enough friends to discuss it. I, in fact, have not spoken to him since that night except via text messaging and we all know how things can get lost in translation.

New Year's Resolutions

While it may still be early in the year to begin New Years Resolutions I vow to start now. No matter what happens between me and RG it was an eye opening experience for me. It has made me realize some things. First, I have spent the last 2 1/2 years living for my daughter and putting her first. That is great because I am a great mom, but in doing so I neglected myself. Second, I think I told RG that I didn't have time for a relationship. Well that is now changing because after having the most incredible date ever made me realize that I want that. I want more perfect dates, whether it's with him or someone else. I am not waiting until my divorce is over to start my life. My sorry, piece of crap husband is done messing with my head! I want to start searching for the wonderful person out there who I am supposed to be with. After a year of this divorce BS my ex still homeless, jobless, carless, licenseless, moneyless and classless. Since some of these may not be legit words just bear with me. So basically nothing has changed. Swears he loves us and doesn't want a divorce but doesn't want to work on supporting his family either. So my New Years Resolution is as follows:

1.I will start living my life.
2.I will find a babysitter who can come to my home to watch my daughter so that I may meet my friends more often.
3.I will get my gym membership back. It is not being a bad mom to pick my daughter up at the sitters house and drop her in the gym daycare for 30 minutes so that I can go run.
4. I do have time for a relationship. I am going to start dating. By February I will have gone out on at least 1 legit full fledged date. (Some things take time.)
5.I am going to be a stronger person when dealing with my ex and think of not only my daughter but myself. IE: Since you haven't paid child support in over a year you really don't have any say, so shut up or take me to court.We have plans.
6. I will kiss someone on New Years Eve.

So tomorrow I will get my gym membership back. 1 down then 5 more to go. Maybe I can accomplish some of these before New Years, then I won't have to work as hard later on.

Friends With Benefits

I suck at the whole "blog" thing. I was never good at the "journal" thing or the "diary" thing either. Now with all my jobs and raising my little girl on my own I really don't have time. However I am going to blow if I can't talk to someone about this, although no one is supposed to know, so here is my safety net. So while my divorce is still not final and my court date for that is not until July I needed to fully and completely get on with my life. To "Rip Off " the proverbial band-aid and just do it. All women have needs. After almost a year of no sex (with another person being involved) I decided that maybe friends with benefits would work. It all seemed like a win-win situation. I am way to busy, and still legally married to put any real effort into a relationship. I don't have to purchase presents or do ego boosting. I make a booty call, take care of some stress at the same time and then he leaves. No stings attached, just sex. After racking my brain, and those of fiends in trying to find my FWB my horse racing friends' name kept coming up. I really balked at that idea but for some reason he is all I have been thinking about. I haven't seen him in months but he is there in my dreams every night and is always everything a woman dreams of.I never woke up unsatisfied. Well he agreed to be my date for my company Christmas party. He was the PERFECT date!!! He opened all my doors, was attentive, amusing, did the hand on my back thing.If thishad been my first date with someone new I would have been blown away impressed and I would have said yes to another date. That being said one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. I am not talking normal sex I am speaking of the kind that MG craves. The grab you by the back of the neck, press you up against a wall, uninhibited sex.The weird thing is that we have been friends for like 12 years or so and the sex was not weird. It was a long time coming. I thought that by just doing it and getting it over it would allow me to quit thinking about RG. He was better in real life than I had even dreamed. I will admit that I was selfish but hey, I haven't had sex in almost a year so I was entitled. Things weren't perfect but even the little things that come up that are sometimes deal breakers or uncomfortable weren't. Even afterward things weren't weird. There was an article in the paper not too long ago discussing whether FWB could work. I used to think so. Now I am wondering if I picked the wrong friend.