Thursday, April 05, 2007
Celebration
My friend Steph always has the best ideas. When my divorce is finally final she suggested a divorcette party. Her theory is that people are so stupid to buy leis and "Suck for a buck" off of some chick they will never have a chance to score on so what would they do for some hot, young thing like me coming back on the market? If you happen to be out that night and see me, please note that your donation will be going to a good cause...the ladies and I are going to Vegas! I would love to write here about all the great details from our trip but you know the saying..."What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas!"
The craziness will soon end.
I think when this whole drama with my soon to be ex-husband is over I may write a book. It will be titled,"Humourous rantings of a Crack Addict." Some may be offended at my ability to be glib about this whole situation but I am not one to dwell on the "what if's" and I prefer to just get on with my life. I am not going to let anger and resentment rule my life. That just puts a strain on your heart and will eventually kill you. If something is going to kill me I prefer it to be something I enjoy like martinis or cigars. Some quick excerpts from my book are to follow and should you know anyone who has ever used one of these then you may want to buy a drug test kit.
Example 1:
Funny story: My husband went out to the town where his parents live to get some gas from his dads' work truck because no one would give him the money. He decides to go 4 wheeling and gets stuck. He is very angry and resentful towards his father and myself. Why you ask...because it is our fault he got stuck mud running. If we had just given him money then he would not have gotten stuck because he would not have had to go to his parents to get gas. Keep in mind that his parents do not live on a gravel road.I tried ,in vain I might add, to explain that if he had not chosen to go mud running that he would not have gotten stuck. His dad and I did not make him go mud running when he went to get gas.
Example 2:
I told him that I filed for divorce and he said that was fine because when when go to court it will look really good for him because he was sick and I kicked him out. WHAT!? Seriously?Seriously.Seriously!
Example 3:
He didn't work past July last year because he got fired for not showing up. He tells me that since I made more mony than him I should pay him alimony. I almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard. I made just over $20,000 and I support my daughter full time by myself. I don't scrounge off the government for food stamps and rental assisitance when I am fully capable of working.
Example 4:
I admit I was a little resentful when, after 6 days of saying he was coming to se his daughter he once again did not show up. I asked him what came up that was more important.He said he didn't remember.(Crack does that to a person.Remember the commercial with the frying pan and the egg? My husband's brains are scrambled.) he asked what I had planned for the day. Keep in mind it was a week day. My response was some us go to work every day. Some people, like myself now, work 2 jobs everyday.After that we go home and are parents.
Example 5:
A sheriff came to my door last Saturday looking for my husband. He has wrote out checks to places and not had the money in his account to cover them. One grocery store he wrote out more than $1000 to. I looked through the amil from the bank. On the 13th he opened and account with $400. On the 15th he withdrew $300. The next day he took out $95. You do not have to be a math genius to figure out that you do not have $1000 in your account to begin with so to write out that much in checks is ludacris...not to a crack addict. Somehow it was probably my fault. If you hadn't made me drive 20 miles out of the way to see my daughter than I would not have passed that crack house.
Example 1:
Funny story: My husband went out to the town where his parents live to get some gas from his dads' work truck because no one would give him the money. He decides to go 4 wheeling and gets stuck. He is very angry and resentful towards his father and myself. Why you ask...because it is our fault he got stuck mud running. If we had just given him money then he would not have gotten stuck because he would not have had to go to his parents to get gas. Keep in mind that his parents do not live on a gravel road.I tried ,in vain I might add, to explain that if he had not chosen to go mud running that he would not have gotten stuck. His dad and I did not make him go mud running when he went to get gas.
Example 2:
I told him that I filed for divorce and he said that was fine because when when go to court it will look really good for him because he was sick and I kicked him out. WHAT!? Seriously?Seriously.Seriously!
Example 3:
He didn't work past July last year because he got fired for not showing up. He tells me that since I made more mony than him I should pay him alimony. I almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard. I made just over $20,000 and I support my daughter full time by myself. I don't scrounge off the government for food stamps and rental assisitance when I am fully capable of working.
Example 4:
I admit I was a little resentful when, after 6 days of saying he was coming to se his daughter he once again did not show up. I asked him what came up that was more important.He said he didn't remember.(Crack does that to a person.Remember the commercial with the frying pan and the egg? My husband's brains are scrambled.) he asked what I had planned for the day. Keep in mind it was a week day. My response was some us go to work every day. Some people, like myself now, work 2 jobs everyday.After that we go home and are parents.
Example 5:
A sheriff came to my door last Saturday looking for my husband. He has wrote out checks to places and not had the money in his account to cover them. One grocery store he wrote out more than $1000 to. I looked through the amil from the bank. On the 13th he opened and account with $400. On the 15th he withdrew $300. The next day he took out $95. You do not have to be a math genius to figure out that you do not have $1000 in your account to begin with so to write out that much in checks is ludacris...not to a crack addict. Somehow it was probably my fault. If you hadn't made me drive 20 miles out of the way to see my daughter than I would not have passed that crack house.
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