Thursday, October 19, 2006
How Do You Know For Sure
My husband now realizes all that he has lost. For the first time I saw something other than anger and rage. I saw desperation, fear and acknowledgement. I saw, through his tears, his realization of having nothing, no one. I never wanted a divorce. I wanted the person I married, although I realized I married an idea, an image of perfection if you will. I threatened filing papers in the hopes that he would realize what he was doing to our family.He didn't care. Now 3 months later, through therapy, he knows what he did. Can he ever be the image I had of him as a husband and a father? Do I dare put my life on hold once again because he is telling me the things I have wanted to hear him say for so long? I know him as a manipulator and a liar. He is not trying to get anything from me and he has come clean about a lot of things that I never thought he would speak of.Can he really beat this addiction?Do I owe it to my family to give him another chance?
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ABSOLUTELY NOT. Baby, I love you more than anything in this world but that man that you married does not exsist. How many times will you allow him another chance? Allow him into your heart, into your baby's heart only to have him turn around and sniff it up his nose. I love you too much to allow a man to break you. You are stronger than him, smarter than him and by all means better than him. If he is truly this person that he suddenly appears to be - he'll be with you still after the divorce. There's always a chance to remarry if he finally gets off his lousy ass and tries.
Most of all you owe it to your family to NOT give him that chance. You said it yourself, he's a manipulator and a liar - what makes you think these aren't manipulations and lies?
I am the last person to give advice I know - but don't give it a chance, give yourself a chance at a better life.
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